Thursday, May 03, 2007

How do you feel about popularity?

Girls write to New Moon a lot with their ideas of popularity. Do girls become popular because they're genuinely nice and a lot of people like them? Do they become popular for having the right clothes, the right looks, or being bullies? Does it depend on the school or the neighborhood? Madeline writes:

"I don't understand why people want to be popular. Is it because they want people to like them? Perhaps boys? If anyone has an idea, tell me! I mean, if I was popular, I would be singing about it by now!"

So, what do you think? Are you popular? Do you wish you were? Or wish you weren't? Is being popular a blessing or a curse? Leave your comments -- let's discuss!

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not popular. Some people are just popular for their good looks or charm, and some are popular because they have the perfect personality and have a "leader" personality. It doesn't matter if you're popular, unpopular, well-liked, or whatever, we're all humans and it's good to be alive!

Anonymous said...

It's funny. I used to cry about not being popular, but now I find that I don't really care for the girls who are 'in'- I like being different. It just.... makes me feel good, you know? Perhaps you do.

Kayla said...

I agree with anonymous (5:58 PM)
I used to care so much about being popular, so much of hanging out with the "in" crowd, even if they treated me badly. I started hanging out with them last year, but they weren't very welcoming and nice, and definitely wanted me out. Now I know that it's better to have 1 or 2 real friends, than 10 fake friends! Every girl is different, actually. Some girls easily click in with the popular crowd, some don't. Just stick with the people who treat you nicely, and you feel 100% comfortable around them!

Anonymous said...

i'm glad i'm not popular. your always the center of attention and i probobly couldn't deal with that. your always supposed to wear the "hottest" clothes and plus alot of people would hate you because your more popular then they are> All in all i'm glan i'm not popular!

Anonymous said...

I used to want to be popular. They were always laughing, having fun, looking cool. They were the pretty ones, the ones with bf's, the ones with an entire wardrobe filled with the clothes that were "in" They were also the clothes that were the most revealing and disrespectful to girl's bodies. Now I have accepted that I'm not popular. In fact, I'm happy about it because I am on high honors, I have lots of awesome friends, and I am happy. And that's what really counts.

~Jessica~ said...

I go to a Montessori school, which is a private school that focuses on independent learning and learning @ your own pace. Not only is it nice in that way, but also in the way that no one can really be "popular" because the classes are so small and everybody finds their own circle of friends.

Anonymous said...

I am not popular but in my school being popular means having to act mean or not being yourself. Sometimes it means a boy likes you.

Anonymous said...

When I was in elementary school, I used to want to become popular. I think it was because I felt that my friends left me out and that wearing the right clothes was the only way to fit in. But when I entered sixth grade, I made so many new friends. They weren't "popular", but they weren't "losers" either. I also expressed my individuality more. for example, I love cats a lot and wasn't afraid to talk about them all the time! In sixth grade, I could skip down the hallways and nobody would think I was weird, and if they did, I didn't care. I could be friends with whoever I wanted, and people would respect me. Unfortunately, when I entered seventh grade, my classmates started to become racist and my old friends wouldn't hang out with me anymore because of my race.

jc said...

I totally agree with kayla. I haven't really been exsposed to popularity since i'm homeschooled, and my Mom teaches me at home, but my opinion is that being popular SHOULD NOT be about being pretty, or a bully, or because you dress well. If you are going to try and be popular, remember that you should be popular for WHO YOU ARE, and not some fakey person who is just (in metaphor) a mask you put on each day.

Anonymous said...

I am unpopular and proud. When you focus on more important stuff rather than focusing on being popular,life is easier.

Anonymous said...

I'm popular and I'm sick of it. My friends only like me because I have the boyfriend, the looks, and the money.

Anonymous said...

I think this isn't very fair. some people are popular because theyre nice. the other comments make it seem like all popular girls are mean and nasty.

Devin said...

My school is a bit like jessica's but there is a small popular group. i just focus on hanging out with the people who make me feel good. sometimes I feel good when I am ith the po[ular people, and sometimes I want to hang out with my own friends. I don't think it really matters as long as the people who you hang out with make you feel good about yourself.

Lauren said...

At my school, there are two kinds of popular. One is the "nice" popular, one is the "mean" popular. I have friends in both groups, but whenever I hang out with the mean girls, they always pressure me to get a boyfriend even though I know I'm not ready. It's really important to be yourself, so never do anything you're not comfortable with. I made that mistake before and I'm not going to again.

Anonymous said...

well. i am popular, but i go to a private school so it is really just about who you are. yeah the guys come to us, but dont hate. dont make me look like a bad person i hang out with who ever i want to and people still make fun of me and call me names but im not anything. i enjoy being popular because i can hangout with whoever i want to and know that no one is going to hate me.
thats a good feeling.

Lara said...

I go to a fairly small rural school. To say there is a "popular" crowd is sometimes hard. The people who are are the ones who have money and who live in certain part of the county. Unfortunatley, many of those people like to go out and get drunk every weekend. Me and my close friends get along with just about everyone, yet we are definitely not considered "popular", and I like it that way.

Anonymous said...

i am not popular but not made fun of all the time some kids at my school want to be really popular by wereing really cut clothes they say and talking back to the teacher and saying that you are being rasist to the teacher. The group of freinds i hang out with don't like them eather. So i don't know what being popular to them means.

Anonymous said...

At my school there's a popular crowed and sometimes i even hang out with them, even though I'm not realy sure if I like them. The kids at my school become popular for wearing the latest trends, looking cool and being outgoing. THey exept me into their group because I'm into fashion, and pretty outgoing. But they exclude and say bad things about alot of other kids for being "stupid" or "wearing realy ugly clothes". They are so judgemental of everyone, they can't even trust their own friends to not spread rumers about them. But there's no way to stop kids from creating popular groups unfortunetly, because there will always be those kids who everyone wants to be like. I wish it was different.

Anonymous said...

At my school, people call the girls who are into fashion and make-up popular. Some of them are not nice, so I don't understand why people call them popular because the real popular ones are the ones who respect everyone and accept them for who they are.

Anonymous said...

I've been told I'm popular, but I've never really put a lot of thought into it. I just try to be nice to people. Frankly, I don't think it's a problem to be popular, as long as it's for the right reasons. Some girls have people flock around them for being really pretty or wearing the right clothes, but there are a lot of girls at my school who aren't perfect looking but have amazing personalities and they're considered popular. It's not like there's an "in" crowd or anything. I really think popularity isn't about being perfect in the way you look, dress and act, but about being yourself and being human. And, actually, the girls I know who people say are popular for looking perfect and following trends aren't so much famous as they are imfamous.

Anonymous said...

I'm popular at school and i really resent when people call me stuck up or backstabing. I became popular because people like me, I didn't hurt anyone to get to the top. I didn't expect myself to be popular I just am. Just because I'm popular dosn't make me a bad person and I feel like people callpopular kids mean or hurtfull, but really there just as bad or worse than the popular kids by saying that

Anonymous said...

popular? there isn't any real "popular" at my school. there are some girls who are pretty well-known in school, but they are pretty nice, not mean and nasty like a lot of popular people. there are also the girls who are well-liked, and friends with a lot of people. these girls wear clothes that in fashion, but still very appropiate and have enough coverage, they aren't showy or anything. these girls care about their religons, do good things in their community and nice to everyone. these girls are funny too. this is why they are well liked! i think this is the right kind of "popular". i am one of these girls, and i am proud of it.

Anonymous said...

I'm not popular. I don't know if I even WANT to be popular, but I do know I'm disgusted with the "popular" crowd at my school. The thing is, they're not popular, they're just powerful. They're able to crush social misfits in a single bound. They curse violently, and are immature for their age. As I said, I'm not popular. But I'm respected. I'm different and proud of it. I'm not a Populor, I'm a Wiccan, book-loving, writer of a girl whose taking school one step at a time!

Anonymous said...

there is a girl in my school, a friend of mine, actually, who is a "geek", "nerd" and sometimes the kind of words that get beeped out. she is real nice, the kind of person you can sit down with and talk about the most foolish thing ever, without her laughing at ya. my other friends make fun of her, i have to just tune out when they gossip about her, or just sit and listen, silently. i need advice, cause it's about time i take a stand and put a stop to this! my other friends might ditch me, but they are my friends adn i think that deep down inside they feel the same as me. they are just goin with the flow, but far as i know, if this flow doesn't slow down or altogether stop, it will go down a waterfall. i'm stuck in the middle, cause i love both sets of friends! please help, my New Moon friends! this "popular" fiasco stinks!!

chrissy said...

anonymous with friendship issues-
my advice is just tell your set of friends #2, in a nice voice, and calm, that i'm gonna try and be nicer to that other girl, are ya with me? probably they'll say yeah. if that doesn't slow down the flow, talk to a teacher or mom. good luck,
yr new moon friend chrissy

ps. a popular issue like this happened to me too, i did what i advised you to do. it worked

Anonymous said...

At my school their are two types of popular.

One is the kids who have self-esteem issues and all tell each other they are cool and wear the same type of clothes and put-down other people to make them selves feel "cooler". But no one, expect their friends, thinks they're cool.

The other type of popular is where you get along with everyone and you aren't mean to people.

Everyone in my grade has groups, but not cliques. People don't invite people to each others parties because they're cool, only because they're friends.

I'm pretty well liked and have a fantastic group of four best girlfriends. Each group has their own definition of cool. My best girlfriends are the coolest people (not including my mom) I know.

Anonymous said...

Every year up until now I have wanted to be popular, because I felt left out and alone. This year, some new people came to my school. (a whole lot of them) My best friend and I decided to make a big group of our own to rival the preppy girls. Two weeks later, more than half of us had run off to the bathroom, crying. The entire year, we just fought, called each other names, and were generally just rude. Meanwhile, at afterschool, I was friends with this group of guys and girls that was the entire class. Probably because it was so small. I loved being in that group. They just didn't care about the clothes you wore, the things you said or did. They just liked you for who you are.

Long story short, don't waste your time getting "popular". Find people who really care, and just have fun, what you are supposed to do with friends.

Maria said...

I don't know. I'm good looking, so lots a boys like me. I started a new school a few months ago and I could of been in the 'in' crowd if I wanted. I personly found it hard to keep up as I don't have cool clothes and makeup. I don't use make up, only lip gloss and I'm a nice person. I don't really like putting people down only if they really hurt me inside.

I'm a girl with lots a friends. I can regodize the friends I'm happy with...

But cool is a dream you'll won't be able to reach. Just remember what comes around goes around. Wait for them to come for you and tred carefully. Or you'll love and lose.