Girl's Best Friend

It takes guts to be a girl in this world. There is no denying it. It is an exciting and fruitful position to have, but it takes a certain amount of courage. There are media images to combat, stereotypes to face, and the ongoing processes of connecting to and holding onto the true voice within herself. Every girl is brave.

One brave girl who has shown up in the news lately is twelve-year-old Shea Megale. Together with her five-year-old companion dog Mercer, she is trying to get the news out about Spinal Muscular Atrophy, a condition that has resulted in her use of a wheelchair to get around. Mercer, Shea, and her mother recently did a television interview to promote Shea's new book, Marvelous Mercer. Shea is remarkably well-spoken, showing the world just what girls have in store for it in terms of an ability to make a difference. "I want to do things to change the world. I think kids like us can," Shea says on the Marvelous Mercer website. She sounds like a New Moon girl!

Marvelous Mercer tells the imagined story of Mercer's nighttime adventures, taking part in the physical activities like ice skating that Shea herself cannot because of her SMA. One point that Shea's mother makes in the interview is that the Marvelous Mercer books (the book is planned to turn into a series) help take the focus off of Shea by focusing people's attention on her dog. It takes bravery to attract the amount of attention that Shea does just by going to the store, and it takes even more to channel her experience constructively by writing. Her "disability" is transformed into a heightened ability to imagine.

This leads me to my questions for you readers. If you had been inventing the English language, what would you have called the word "disability" instead? To me, it's always seemed like it shouldn't have anything that suggests a negative the way the prefix "dis-" so wrongly does. Do any of the alternate terms out there? Or does something like "unexpectedly gifted" ring more of a bell in your heart? I want to know.

What about companion animals? There are all kinds--seeing eye dogs, hearing ear dogs, the list goes on... Do you or someone you know have a special companion animal who makes a difference? In the television interview, Shea pointed out that of all the miraculous things Mercer can do for her, like turning on the lights and opening doors, the most valuable of all is being her best friend.

Bravery has many forms, and this evening I want to celebrate all of you brave girls out there.

Adios for now, Elizabeth

Let's Clarify "Pretty"

I paused when I heard the name of the new product Nair Pretty. This product is targeted at girls just becoming aware of their changing body hair. "Feel pretty every day!" the website boasts. Are they trying to imply that removing your body hair makes you feel prettier? "Pretty isn't a look it's a feeling," the website also reminds visitors. This confuses me. What further confounds me is another blurb from the main website, this about the discovery of more noticeable body hair: "Chill. You're growing up...it's all good." Well, yes, growing up is a celebration.

If the company wants girls to "feel pretty every day," and they understand that "pretty isn't a look, it's a feeling," and they are also encouraging girls not to worry about their changing bodies, that it is all part of the natural progression to womanhood, then why are they endorsing hair removal? I personally feel a lot prettier now that I do not shave or remove my hair in any other way. When I used to, it only served to make me more self-conscious and occupy my mind with fitting in enough shower time to shave. I did not have as much time to value my natural beauty and listen to my internal voice. Taking a deep breath, I looked around at all the animals I saw sporting their normal hair, and trusted that if they had the guts to strut their stuff proudly, so did I. I do feel pretty every day, and it is because of a feeling rather than external cues (although I also celebrate my outward appearance, as I believe everyone should, no matter what). I think every woman and girl deserves to have the chance to choose what works for her without advertisers sneaking in ways to trigger self-consciousness.

Admittedly, the angle that Nair Pretty seems to be taking is that their product is a prettier alternative to shaving. They are not directly saying that it is prettier than no removal. However, there seems to be no implication that a girl would ever choose the very healthy option of leaving her body hair just where it is. Besides, how many times have I witnessed or heard of rashes people got from using Nair?

Well, now I want to know what you think about this new product. Feel free to voice your opinion, and feel free if you have a completely different opinion than I do. How do you feel about the pressure on females to remove their body hair? Does it seem unfair to you that there are different standards for hair removal for males and females? What about the fairness of the specific age group Nair Pretty is targeting?

I want to know. (A character in a favorite series of mine, Anne of Green Gables, always said that to the main character, Anne. You may hear me use that line a lot.)

I want to remind all you girl readers that you shine from within no matter what.

Signing off, Elizabeth

These Dolls Don't Play Nice

I was at the Hallmark store the other day getting birthday cards when I saw a rack of Ty Girlz – plush adolescent-looking dolls accompanied by an online code which grants the buyer entry into the Ty Girlz virtual world. I was curious about what Ty (the company that makes these dolls as well as the popular Beanie Babies) had created as their world, and why lately, I have witnessed an outbreak of teenager dolls (think Bratz, This is Me, etc.). I decided to buy one and do some of my own dollerific research.

Perusing my options, I wondered why all the dolls had such downright mean and sarcastic facial expressions. It seems we Americans think that teenage insolence is the coolest thing around, and further reinforce this idea—often culturally attributed to movies, music videos, and celebrities—by selling such dolls to 6 to 13-year-old girls. (I recalled a small girl I had seen the day before in a parking lot, strutting around in a mini skirt and high-heeled boots while holding her mother’s hand. It seemed to me the sale of those clothes benefited the manufacturer more than her.) In the end, I chose Rockin’ Ruby, a rocker chick in all-black faux vinyl or leather. Outfitted with a belly-button ring, choker (wow, a whole ’nother blog could be written on why it’s called that!), platforms, and oodles of makeup, she seemed like the toughest of the lot. (They each sported heels of some sort, makeup, and plenty of accessories though.)

As it turned out, Rockin’ Ruby had just been “retired” (no more of her type of doll will be made), but I could see from her goodbye messages in Ty Girlz world that her persona was a young woman on tour with a band, a teenager whose “positive” traits of independence and musical talent were actually just a hankering to party and dress like a celebrity bad-girl. The rest of the Ty Girlz were equally as into being flirty and glamorous (aka sexually suggestive and super-duper slim) according to their bios and appearances—but who can enjoy your own snazziness when you’re so busy worrying about how you look and which new clothes you need to buy? (You apparently also “NEED” to buy the rest of the Ty Girlz dolls to complete your collection, a direct marketing effort built straight into this world for girls.)

I apologize for judging the dolls based on their external features and certainly hope I am not promoting any negative stereotypes by discussing the personality types these dolls are meant to be, but it’s important to point out that someone purposely created their “looks” and “personas” in order to turn a profit. These skinny, lollipop-headed dolls make cool the anorexic/bulimic body figure, as if feeling bad about yourself, your life, and the state of the world, is normal or even fun and desirable. They imitate the insecurity many of us feel about our external appearances, activities, and relationships—and that makes them cool enough to buy? How confusing.

The Ty company, by involving real girls in their dolls’ virtual world, have infused these toys with a celebrity effect: that of being role models despite that they’re not real people in girls’ personal lives. The Ty Girlz world is a higher-pitched, curliqued version of the commercial MTV atmosphere. As I surfed the site, loud rock or dance music erupted from my screen to accompany chat rooms, fitting rooms, and bedrooms. All there is to do is shop (for clothes or furniture for your house), chat, and play games that all center around a gabby (even catty), sexy climate—and one that ultimately is simply there to endorse the Ty product. After playing some shopping, dressing, and dancing games (whose characters ask you aloud in a girls’ voice to help them “look perfect” or “look my best”), I became hopeful that the trivia game might offer a more interesting and 3-dimensional horizon to this world. When I found that it only featured Ty Girlz “facts,” I truly felt the narrow confines of the Ty Girlz universe: It would be like living in a mall, where every fashion, friend, activity, and thought is dictated to you. For all its colors, cell phone rings, zooming cars, makeover before-and-after shots, and easily-earned Girlz world money—all you have to do is stay and play, and your bank account fills again—its shallow interactivity would not normally hold girls’ attention. But feeling bad about what they look like, what activities they do, and how much money they have compared to their co-avatars sure might.

I am highly disappointed that today’s toys—objects that used to stimulate children’s imaginations—now tell girls not only how to play with them and who they should aspire to become but also who to be now. (One could criticize traditional babydolls for influencing girls’ hopes of eventual motherhood, but Ty Girlz and other such dolls pressure girls to be chic, sexually active, and exterior-focused in their current lives.) And while the Ty Girlz dolls may be accompanied by a bajillion play options that seem to expand or improve upon real-life make-believe—She’s not hard plastic! She’s a friend closer to your age! You can buy her tons of virtual outfits in any color!—her personality, fashion sense, wishes, and ambitions are built-in and pretty unchangeable. (Yes, Rockin’ Ruby’s shiny silver panties are woven into her skin and the rest of her clothes are sewn on—not to mention, the size of her head ensures that she will stick with her current top forever. Clearly, this IS the outfit she wants to be wearing.)

Even if I consider social or community aspects offered by the Girlz world that one might not have with a regular ol’ lone toy, in addition to the confusion between doll and self caused by the online avatar world, these dolls as playthings teach girls that appropriate friendship activities are to “dress up your room” and “give your girls makeovers.” (In imitation of today’s narcissistic ‘social networking’ friendship sites, the “All About Me” section is coming soon to tygirlz.com.) The Girlz chat-room scene is equally as grim. The fact that—against a background of animated silhouettes clubbing—clickable pre-written phrases exist to aid girls too young to type gives me a clear signal that perhaps they shouldn’t be there, and that this is not a place where real friends are found. (Moreover, the fact that I signed up as a 25-year-old yet had full access to the chat rooms doesn’t make me feel any better about the security of girls who might be excited by a stranger’s flattery.)

One website cannot of course single-handedly make a girl devalue herself, no less contribute to how secure she is as she becomes a woman in her teenage years. But in a nation where girls’ (and therefore women’s) self-esteem is dropping, I would say that it certainly adds to—and profits from—the cacophony of voices telling females of all ages who and how to be.

But enough of my ideas—what do YOU think about these dolls? What are your opinions about doll ages (baby, girl, teen, adult)? Do you have TY Girlz or similar dolls with an online playspace? How are they the same and different than dolls that don’t have an online world? What do you think are the pros and cons of playing online? Feel free to disagree with anything I said or comment on a related question I didn’t mention—let your voice be heard! I look forward to reading…

Be PROUD of who you are!

I think we would all agree that we all have things about ourselves that we wish we could change…longer legs, slimmer waist, etc. After all, at the end of the day, you are your biggest critic. But, what if we start embracing those little “imperfections” as perfection. These are what make you unique! Why would you ever want to look like everyone else? You would never stand out in the world! This is the focus of the organization Proud Girls, Inc. and www.hangproud.com. The company was started by two women, Carla and Diane, who were fed up with the media’s portrayal of women and the effects it was having on women and girls’ self-esteem. Part of their mission statement reads,

“Imagine not comparing yourself to anyone else, ever again.
Imagine that day when you can be who you are, finally.
Imagine helping to support other PROUDgirls who need your help.
Imagine the power of helping each other to achieve this goal.
It is time we all agree to hangPROUD!”

I don’t think they could have said it any better. Be PROUD in the things you have accomplished and accept compliments from those around you because, in the end, it’s those little compliments that give you the drive to do great things!

There are also opportunities on their website to post your own story on why you are a PROUD girl and what it means to you to be proud of yourself. This can be very inspirational to many young girls because sometimes you may not know exactly what it is that you're proud of…but you’ll figure it out soon enough. As long as you keep your proud head high you will find it!

Because It's What Every Girl Needs

Earlier today, Feminsting and Jezebel reported on the newest, the latest, the greatest in high-tech fashion...scented panties. What every girl needs, right?

Why does the fashion industry keep bombarding us with messages that we're just not 'good enough'? Whether they're telling us that we're not thin enough to fit a fashion model's size, or that our normal body parts' normal smells are so gross they need to be smothered by strange chemicals, we get the message: we can't be proud of who we (and our bodies) are.

Apparently, these new panties create their scent by utilizing a technology that weaves what is basically a drier sheet into the underwear's own fabric. Which sounds awfully unhealthy--like wearing a sheet of chemicals next to your skin--if not just plain gross. As Jezebel wrote, "Three little letters come to mind: UTI [Urinary Tract Infection]."

Aren't there better things that the technology world could be doing to further our fashion choices? Perhaps designers could find a way to weave little speakers into our clothing that project little messages to us throughout our day. Like "you're beautiful the way you are."

But given what we know about the fashion industry, that's unlikely. After all, why would these panties sell (and by the way, they're already sold out) if the fashion industry and the rest of society weren't already telling us that there's something wrong with just being...ourselves?

I'll leave you with the comment of one woman, who read Feministing's post: "As society has it, most women are already shy about their vagina as is. Do we really want to go forward with making a vagina into something it's not really supposed to be? Part of consciousness-raising is making women realize that the vagina isn't something to be ashamed of. This product is just doing the exact opposite."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

It's not 'gay'.

First, I will not tell you what to believe. You do not have to think being gay is right or wrong; it is your opinion and you must make it.

Okay, that said, everyone, no matter their orientation, should have the right to learn in peace. Unfortunately, this is not the case. We hear about harassment and learn about harassment all the time, so why does it still happen? Over a third of all Lesbian-Gay Bisexual Transsexual (LGBT) students have reported that they were physically harassed. They have to go to school everyday in fear; something that nobody should have to do. "We were picked on. We were called 'queer' and a host of other homophobic slurs. We were also used as punching bags by our classmates, just for being different," said a college student about high school. That student is not alone. In fact, about 97% of students (in public high schools) report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from others. The "typical" high school student hears about 25.5 anti-gay remarks every day. Hearing the phrase "that's gay" or "you're gay" only enforces the meaning of the word as 'bad' or 'stupid'. If you think that school staff will help, guess again. 53% of students report that they heard a teacher make a homophobic statement. Now, about 80% of prospective teachers coming into the work force have negative attitudes toward LGBT people. And, even worse is the fact that teachers fail to intervene 97% of the times when a slur is made about gays. Because of the constant harassment many of these students skip school or say they won't continue onto college. (20% of LGBT students skip at least once a month because they don't feel safe.) So, any of you remember when the word gay meant 'happy'?

With all this discrimination going on all around them, LGBT students might seek guidance from counselors. Sadly, less than 20% of counselors have received training for helping LGBT youth. And if that's not a problem, having two thirds of counselors who dislike LGBT people certainly is.

Even when these kids go home there are problems. 25% of lesbians and 19% of gays report physical violence from family members because of their orientation. Because of physical violence LGBT kids are more likely to try to commit suicide. Of all the "successful" teen suicides 30% are gay/lesbian. They are 4 times as likely to attempt suicide; that means every 5 hours and 48 minutes. Sorry, but no one, I repeat no one, should ever be knocked so low were all they feel like doing is dying. Respect, people. Where has it gone? Racism is frowned upon, so why isn't being a homophobic? They go to school; picked on. Go home; harassed. "I just began hating myself more and more, as each year the hatred towards me grew and escalated from just simple name-calling in elementary school to having persons in high school threaten to beat me up, being pushed and dragged around the ground, having hands slammed in lockers, and a number of other daily tortures," said a gay high school student. You don't have to believe what they feel is right, you don't have to even like them, but please just respect them. They are people just like us. They have feelings. We have the power to hurt each other, but we also have the choice not to.

We hear people say how with all the wars and violent acts occurring, it seems like there isn't enough love in the world. Hey, there is more love, just not the kind you were thinking of. Love. Why should it matter who loves who? It's love. And we need more of that.

Here is a list of LGBT people who made history.

If you don't already, encourage your school to have a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) program because studies show that students felt safer when they had one.

Also, there is an event on April 18 every year called the Day of Silence, check it out.

To all you girls out there who are lesbian, bisexual or transsexual: stand tall and be proud of who you are. It's hard when people say that being you is wrong. But chin up sisters, and keep showing the world that you are beautiful.

Peace, friends.

The Risks of "Fitting In"

Breast enhancements. They are now the most popular of all surgeries (in the U.S.) followed only by liposuction and eyelid surgery. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 329,396 enlargements were performed last year; up 13% from 2005. So why are those numbers scary? Recently, a new study* came out showing that women who got these surgeries were more likely to commit suicide. The study followed 3,527 Swedish women from between 1965 and 1993. (Breast cancer patients who had reconstruction surgery were not included.)

Scientists then documented the women for as long as 29 years after the surgery. At first, the risk of suicide was the same. But from 10 to 19 years after the surgery, the risk jumped to 4.5 times higher and 6 times higher after 20 years. Other studies have shown us that, sadly, many of the women (15%) who get plastic surgery have body dysmorphic disorder. People with this disorder have rarely benefited from enhancement surgery.

Researchers also said alcohol/drug dependence and deaths related to mental disorders increased 3 times. However, some researchers discredit the study, saying that the results aren't appropriate for women today because breast augmentation is more "acceptable now than it was 40 years ago"(L.A. Times). Right. If anything, we have even more pressure to look perfect today. 80% of women in the U.S. are unhappy with the way they look (Love Your Body); so the danger is very real.

It was only last year that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) lifted the 14 year ban on silicone-filled implants because there wasn't enough evidence that they were unsafe. Still, the FDA has called for a 10 year study (on 10,000 women who receive the surgery) to look for long-term side effects. Hopefully, they gather enough research to, once again, place a ban on the silicone-filled implants.

What's your opinion on plastic surgery? Is it good or bad? Should women be screened to see if they have body dysmorphic disorder before the surgery? Send in your answers.

*The study was published in the August issue of the Annals of Plastic Surgery.

Peace, friends.

What's in a Name?

Apparently a lot. A new study claims that if a girl has a more "feminine" name she will be less likely to study math or science after the age of 16. The study tested 1,000 pairs of sisters and found that a girl named 'Alex' was twice as likely to take math or science at a higher level than a girl named 'Elizabeth'. Partly, it is the way people respond to certain names. While there are exceptions, the study said most people will treat 'Isabella' differently than 'Alex'. "Girls with feminine names were often typecast," said David Figlio a professor of economics at the University of Florida (author of the report). Most girls are aware that people tend to assume that boys are better in math and science. "It is a stereotype, and girls with particularly feminine names may feel more pressure to avoid technical subjects," Figlio said. This doesn't mean that girls with more feminine names are any less capable than any other girl; they be just as good.

A big part of the problem, the study claims, is because teachers subconsciously have lower expectations of kids with less 'traditional' names. A teacher in London, Edyta Ballantyne, got a list of names before even meeting the kids and said it was hard not to make a judgement. "I think most people get an image in their head when they hear a name," she said, "If you treat a child differently because of their name, then they will behave differently. That is why the issue for every teacher is to look beyond their name."

Another study finds that if you remind a girl of the stereotype that boys do better in math they will perform badly. "The women start worrying about screwing up which uses up important short term or working memory which could otherwise be used performing the task," said Sian Beilock who is an assistant professor of psychology at the university of Chicago. Sian took two groups of women and told one group that they were being tested to 'see why men generally do better on math than women' and the other was told they were just a part of a math performance experiment. The group who had the stereotype test averaged an 80%; down from their pretest at about 90%. "I thought about how boys are usually better than girls at math so I was trying harder not to make mistakes," said one women who took the stereotyped test.

I must note that the study about girl names has not yet been published officially. You can make your own conclusions about the credibility of the study. Here is another side of the story that was posted on a blog. It should be interesting to see if the study is published and the effects it might have.

(According to the state Department of Education: Girls in grades 3-8 are doing better in math, where their proficiency rate of 73.5 percent edges out the boys’ rate of 71.9 percent.)

If any of you are interested in science and technology (whether your name is Elizabeth or Lauren!) check out this website. It has some links to some good sites, but I didn't check them all (over 100) so just remember that not all its' information could be credible.

Peace, friends.

We are girls; not adults.

Teen models. For years the battle to keep them off the catwalk hasn't been successful. But now, London's Fashion Week said that it will not let girls under 16 onto the catwalk. However, they didn't say that 'underweight' models would be banned. Back on July 11 a panel of experts for the Model Health Inquiry set out to investigate health problems in 17 and 18 year old models. "There was also strongly expressed concern that it is profoundly inappropriate that girls under 16 under the age of consent should be portrayed as adult women. The risk of sexualising these children was high and designers could risk charges of sexual exploitation," said Baroness Kingsmill a member of the Model Health Inquiry. The Inquiry board is now calling for more research to be conducted on eating disorder in the young models. They also want a Union to be formed to protect underage models. The British Fashion Council said that it will accept the Inquiry's recommendations in September (the month London Fashion Week is held ) when they are published. While this is definitely good news, will it be enough? Girls have been exploited for so long; trying to fit into an adult profession. A few studies might not have the power to totally prevent young girls from getting on the catwalk, but maybe this little event will snowball into more secure laws protecting these girls.


You can read the full article here.

Click here if you want to learn more about eating disorder misconceptions.

Here are some tidbits I found about models:

• In January, a 14-year-old Brazilian girl who dreamt of being a model died, weighing only 38 kilos or about 83 pounds.


• A recent study has indicated that 40% of young fashion models have developed an eating disorder.


• "So if you're a 14-year-old girl working as a professional model, you can pretty much bet nine out of the 10 jobs you'll go for you'll be rejected. So I don't know if rejection to that extent is something that is very healthy for a girl of that age." - Zoe Edquist, manager of the Australian Fashion Council


• Studies have shown that while 25 years ago the average model weighted 8% less than the average American woman, today's model weighs 23% below the national average.

Peace, friends.

"Let Them be Hermiones"

Oh Potter fans! Yes, tonight is the night that the long awaited seventh book will be released. We know (because it's been written practically everywhere) that J.K. Rowling is worth more than the Queen of England. Many of us admire her for coming so far from her days as a struggling single-mom. I've always liked her clever writing and unique characters. What I never quite realized was that she had such strong opinions about girls. If you visit her website, click on 'extra stuff' and read 'for girls only, probably...' under miscellaneous, you will be in for a treat. While the information is probably nothing new of most of us, it still made me glad to see that someone with so much influence feels this way. I love that she feels this strongly about body image. She talks about how a ridiculously skinny girl "needs help" but instead we stick her on a magazine cover. J.K. Rowling asks "I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be?"
Alright, I know this is supposed to be a story about J.K. Rowling, but I just want to say to all you girls reading this, 'you are not alone'. I am not skinny and I never will be. (In the media's definition). I know a lot of girls out there struggle with bullying and harassment just because you are different. Be strong sisters. Things like that don't matter in the end. Never forget that history remembers the people that made a difference and not the people who had the skinniest waist line. And J.K. Rowling is on your side. She says, "I'm not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain..." And just look at what J.K. Rowling has accomplished using her brain. Yeah, there are hard days. I suppose even models have those. But in the end, girls, be proud of who you are and show them what you can do. "Let my girls be Hermiones," says J.K. Rowling, referring to her daughters, "rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls. Rant over."

If you want to share your frustrations about body image or your own personal experiences please send them in. The best thing for girls, is to know they are not alone.

See you all on Monday and have fun reading "Deathly Hallows" this weekend!

Peace, friends.

Courtney E. Martin on Food, Body Image, and Eating Disorders

More than half of American women between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five would prefer to be run over by a truck or die young than be fat. More than two-thirds would rather be mean or stupid, writes Courtney E. Martin in her new book on food, body image, and eating disorders, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: the Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body.

As we all well know, eating disorders are skyrocketing—some ten million Americans now suffer from them, and 90% of high school-aged girls think they are overweight. Courtney E. Martin, the 20-something writer extraordinaire (check out her bio at the end of this post), set out at age 25 to figure out the WHYs on food, body image, and eating disorders—Why did all of her friends suffer from a full-fledged eating disorder or, at least, struggle with food and fitness? Why are eating disorders still claiming the lives of so many young women? Why is it that when girls are told, “you can be anything,” they hear, “you must be everything”?

As she wrote, “I set out asking: How did we become so obsessed with perfection, so preoccupied with food and fitness, and what can we do to reclaim our time and energy?” Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters, published by Simon & Schuster in April, is her answer.

It’s an incredible book. I don't hesitate at all in telling YOU, the New Moon blog reader, to read it, then share what you've read with your friends, your sisters, your cousins, your teachers, your parents… Not only because the book is so compelling, but because it’s so important that we as girls and women finally get to the bottom of our obsessions with our food and our bodies.

Courtney was nice enough to answer New Moon’s questions on her book, eating disorders, body image, and feminism. First, a teaser from her Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters:

“There is a girl, right now, staring in a mirror in Des Moines, scrutinizing her widening hips. There is a girl, right now, spinning like a hamster on speed in a gym on the fifth floor of a building in Boston, promising herself dinner if she goes two more miles. There is a girl, right now, in a London bathroom, trying not to get any vomit on her aunt’s toilet seat. There is a girl, right now, in Berlin, cutting a cube of cheese and an apple into barely visible pieces to eat for her dinner…Our bodies are the places where our drive for perfection gets played out. We demand flawlessness in our appearance—the outer manifestation of our inner dictators.”

Perhaps you don’t have an inner dictator, but don’t all of us have that lurking desire to be the supergirl? As Courtney writes, “Our mothers had the luxury of aspiring to be 'good,' but we have the ultimate goal of ‘effortless perfection.’”

Read on for Courtney’s fascinating responses to New Moon’s questions.

***

NM: What inspired you to write Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters?
CM: Through out high school and college, I felt surrounded by brilliant, beautiful friends who were obsessed with food and fitness, perfectionist, and often self-hating. When I asked older women about this phenomenon, they would often essentially respond, “Get used to it. This is just part of being a woman.” I refused to believe that. The book grew out of the outrage that I felt over my friends’ pain and what appeared to be the general acceptance of it as a natural part of femaleness.

What audience is your book intended to reach—the perfect girls and starving daughters themselves, or their greater society?
I wrote this book for the 16 and 17 and 18 year old me, the girl who ached for something familiar and fiercely honest, the girl who really needed a call to action to stop settling for self-hate. So in essence, I wrote it for sophisticated teenagers and college students, primarily, and secondarily, for their mothers and fathers, educators, and coaches.

Describe a typical day in the life of Courtney E. Martin.
Almost every day is different for me, depending on whether I am conducting interviews or meeting with my agent or colleagues. Here’s what a day spent writing is like:

I wake up in my Brooklyn apartment which I share with my big brother, Chris, and do a little yoga or meditation. I make a cup of coffee and some toast with peanut butter and then settle in front of my computer. I try not to check email for a couple of hours so that I can get some focused writing time in before the onslaught of the outside world. Sometimes I’m working on a book, more often an article on feminism, politics, or pop culture.

I take my lunch break and read something—maybe a book I’m incorporating into an article, a magazine I’d like to write for, or the New York Times. Then I might take a walk in Prospect Park, which is right near my house. When I get back I’ll shower and then get right back to the computer. Email, email, email. Maybe a blog post or two. Pitching to editors. Trying to make contact with those I’d like to interview for a story. IM with my boyfriend, who works in film editing. Maybe a quick chat with my writing partner, Jennifer. More email, email, email.

I try to always stop working around 5 or 6 regardless of where I am in a process. I think freelancers can have two tendencies—underworking or overworking. I’m always in danger of the latter so I have to be vigilant with myself about stopping when the sun goes down.

At night I do a range of things—meet with my amazing writer’s group (www.crucialminutia.com), go to the movies, attend a friend’s reading etc. I always get eight hours of sleep. I’m a total nerd in that way.

What is the link between, as Arianna Huffington wrote in your book's advance praise, the need to “stop counting calories and start changing the world”?
The amount of time, energy, and willpower being displaced into dieting and fitness obsession is enormous. I get giddy just thinking about all of the amazing work we could do in the world if we spent that energy focusing on ways in which we can make the world more fair, and experience more joy, and fully embrace who we are and what we have come here to do with our lives. There is so much incredible potential locked up in counting calories and churning away on the exercise bike.

You focus on girls and women whose perfectionism drives their disordered eating and low self-esteem. What about girls and women with just plain bad body image, who don't necessarily have issues with perfectionism-how do they fit into the equation?
Not all women with eating disorders or disordered eating are perfectionist, certainly. I think that group of women is less prone to trying to fit into an unattainable ideal, and more prone to processing their emotions through food or a lack thereof. Though arguably all women struggling with these issues are having trouble healthily processing their emotions, perfectionist women tend towards anorexia as opposed to bulimia. There are plenty of nuances.

When it comes to body image and eating disorders, who is being an 8- to 14-year-old girl today different than it was for earlier generations?
I think that eating disorders have existed for earlier generations, but they were far less common and far less extreme. This generation of young women has been socialized to think that if they have enough will power and/or money they can look like anyone—Nicole Ritchie, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry—regardless of what their genetic body type is. Young women today often have no idea that we each have an innate set point within which our body’s metabolism will naturally adjust. That’s why diets fail 95% of the time (and we still pump $30 billion a year into the industry!) We live in such an extreme makeover culture nowadays.

I also think we are dealing with a whole new world of opportunities—thanks to feminism—that can be paralyzing. We’ve watched our supermoms strive for super-achievement, and so often, their own health and care were sacrificed in the process. As a result, so many of us associate femaleness with exhaustion and self-sacrifice. Our mothers told us “You can be anything” and somehow we heard “I have to be everything.”

What will it take for more girls to start eating healthily-and start loving their bodies?
So, so much. To start with, each young woman can make the radical commitment to heal her relationship with her own body. That means reconnecting with your authentic hungers—when are you hungry? For what? When are you full? What does your body crave? (Usually, your body’s signals are smarter than your mind’s intellectualization of what you need.) How can you move in ways that make you feel happy as opposed to feeling trapped in joyless fitness regimens?

It also might take some outrage. Does it incense you that there are multiple markets making millions off of your insecurities? ($30 billion diet industry, $28 billion plastic surgery industry, $26 billion skincare and cosmetics industry) If we can externalize some of that anger instead of taking it out on ourselves, that can be hugely transformative.

If you could pinpoint the single best solution for improving girls’ body image and self-esteem, what would it be?
Focusing more on joy!

For a generation of girls that, in the words of Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards, have grown up with feminism “in the water,” why is body image still such a huge issue? Why are rates of eating disorders still skyrocketing?
I think that the Second Wave of feminism [1960s-70s] did a tremendous job of creating institutional change, but wasn’t terribly effective at internalizing their own ideas. We’ve inherited that unfinished business.

As Susie Orbach wrote, ‘fat is a feminist issue.’ Why has thinness, in relation to the topics of eating disorders and low self-esteem, become one of the focal points of third wave feminism's work with girls?
It’s so insidious. Seven million girls and women in this country have textbook eating disorders and countless others are struggling though not diagnosable. The sheer numbers are horrifying. And then when you consider how powerful and successful young women are, in general, the contradiction is too glaring not to notice.

You call perfectionism "feminism's unintended legacy." Overall, do you think feminism has helped or hurt girls, especially in terms of long-term effects on self-esteem?
There is no question that feminism has made girls’ lives better in huge and profound ways. We are safer, more educated, and more liberated than any generation of women before us, and that is in large part due to the vigilant and enlightened work of our feminist foremothers.

Having said that, I do think that the lack of internalization of feminist ideas (equality, self care, etc.) has been a real problem, as has the misinterpretation of Feminism for “superwomen feminism”—that not only do women have opportunities, but they have to take advantage of ALL of them and excel perfectly. Not possible and truly unhealthy.

New Moon was one of the first publications you ever wrote for. Can you share any advice for girls who aspire to be writers or journalists?
Read and write as much as you can. I learned so much from writing for my high school and college newspapers—not just from the faculty advisers, but from my peers. Read authors you respect and write them emails expressing your gratitude and seeking mentorship. Don’t think that you have to be an English major once you get to college, although that’s fine too. The best writers and journalists are those who are totally fascinated with all sorts of quirky facets and subcultures. Cultivate your interests, as varied and seemingly strange as they may be. Eavesdrop, observe, write it all down. And finally, try to cultivate a group of peers who are interested in writing. I have been so enriched and supported by my amazing writer’s group, who are not famous, fancy writers but just my friends who are in the same boat, trying to make our way in the world.

You're definitely an author (and activist) to watch. What's next on your horizon?
I'm working on a few book projects, including an anthology on interracial relationships, a memoir by an amazing young woman from Nashville who is HIV positive and spreading the word about this devastating disease, and a book about “what matters now.” I’m blissfully all over the place!

Anything else you'd like our blog's readers to know?
Please check out my website (www.courtneyemartin.com) and feel free to write me emails. I love hearing from girls and I try to answer every email I get.


***

ABOUT COURTNEY

Originally from Colorado Springs, Courtney now lives in Brooklyn. She writes for an amazing range of national publications, including Newsweek, Newsday, Alternet, The Christian Science Monitor, The Village Voice, Time Out New York, Utne Reader, Women's eNews, Poets & Writers, Publisher's Weekly, BUST, Bitch, and ReadyMade, among others. Courtney is also a contributing blogger for Crucial Minutiae and Feministing.

Courtney has an M.A. from New York University in writing and social change [very cool!] and a B.A. from Barnard College in political science and sociology. She spent six months studying in Cape Town, South Africa. She is currently an adjunct professor of gender studies at Hunter College.

When she isn't working, which is not nearly enough of the time, she is daydreaming about playing the blues harmonica, cooking dinner with her big brother, or making video documentaries with her boyfriend in Lefferts Gardens, Brooklyn. Oh, or conspiring to create unselfconscious dance parties.

***

Some RESOURCES

• Visit Courtney's website


• Buy Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters


• Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness


• National Eating Disorders Association


• Body Positive


• Adios Barbie

Toyna Chin on Growing Up

Chances are, you've heard your share of the usual set of horror stories on growing up (embarassing periods! untimely acne! killer mood swings!) Toyna Chin has heard them, too--and she's out to make them a thing of the past. Toyna, now 38, is on a mission she began at age 19, when she first decided she had to do something about the way that companies sold women feminine hygiene products (no choices! bulky boxes! uncomfortable pads!) Best of all, she wants to make sure girls enter puberty armed--with knowledge, that is.

In college, Toyna pitched her ideas to top companies, only to receive stacks of rejection letters. But she never gave up. Three years ago, she launched Hygeia, a new company offering girl's kits called Petite Amie. Five different Cycle Kits, designed with a chic sense of style (no more ugly plastic packages!), offer girls both tips on their period and the tools they need for it--a range of tampons, pads, pantyliners, and other products, depending on the kit.

Petite Amie is still new on the market, but it's already received great feedback--from girls relieved to find something that makes growing up a little more fun, from moms who wish they'd had Petite Amie kits when they were growing up, and from educators who care about girls' health. Gloria Feldt, the former President of Planned Parenthood, has called them "a blessing." And Sylvie Lemaire, the President of the leading Canadian feminine care brand, declared of Petite Amie, "It's brilliant!"

New Moon caught up with Toyna yesterday to chat about her life, work, and why it's important to make girls' experiences in puberty more positive.

New Moon: What's a typical day on the job like?

Toyna Chin: We're a small company, so each day is different. I usually go through emails, check orders, and work with interns and staff. Everything else really depends on what comes up--I work with retailers, manufacturers, marketers, distributors, and lots of other people.

NM: What would you tell girls interested in starting their own business?

TC: I would remind them to really look at what they're interested in, and to pursue that. I tell girls: Go into whatever you're doing with passion; don't go in it for the money. That way, if the money doesn't happen, you're still doing what you love.

NM: What is the biggest success you've had in your work?

TC: Definitely bringing Petite Amie on the market--I've been working on this since I was 19! It's been a long journey.

NM: How does Petite Amie empower girls (one of your company's goals)?

TC: Through giving them the knowledge they need to understand the issues they're facing (each kit includes a Q & A booklet), and by encouraging them to embrace different cultural beliefs, whether or not they believe in them. For example, we make different kits tailored to girls of different cultures. Asian and Hispanic girls are less likely to use tampons, so we make special kits for them that mainly include pads. However, we still encourage girls to use the products that are most practical.

NM: What do you think is most challenging for teen girls in puberty?

TC: The embarrassment about what they're going through--it's hard for them to be confident and see that what they're going through is normal.

NM: What's your advice for girls entering puberty?

TC: It's going to feel very confusing; at times, it might feel like you're the only one in the world experiencing the things you're experiencing, but it's something we all go through. Embrace the experience, and ask questions of whomever you can--parents, nurses, teachers, friends. We even offer an "Ask the Expert" section on our website, where you can submit a question about puberty to receive a private, emailed response within 24 hours.

Now here are a few question for our readers: Have you used Petite Amie's products? Or have you seen their website?

Do you think there's a need for a new approach to getting your period and going through puberty? If you could change an aspect of going through puberty, what would you change? What do you think the world needs to know about puberty and periods? Leave us a comment and tell us what you think!

Make Every Day Turn Beauty Inside Out Day!

Thanks to Marissa, age 11, of New York for her [beautiful] poem "A Beautiful Person."

A Beautiful Person

A beautiful person uses others as her secret weapon
'Be nice to feel nice', she'd say

A beautiful person stands up for what she believes
But doesn't down others' beliefs

A beautiful person cares about appearances
The kind where you stand up straight and celebrate who you are
Not the kind who discriminates because of clothes and other trivialities

A beautiful person does what she can
To help others
And herself

A beautiful person thinks she's beautiful
And isn't scared to say so
But she's also not scared
To tell others
They're beautiful too

Mind on the Media's Turn Beauty Inside Out Day 2007 was a month ago, but that doesn't mean you can't celebrate inner beauty every day! Be sure to request their TBIO Action Kit--they've got a great idea list! Some samples:

• Stay healthy! Don't let the media and advertisers tell you how you should look or how you should dress.
• Send a card to a friend telling them why they have Inner Beauty - you can use the great e-cards at www.girlshealth.gov/freestuff/ecards.htm
• Talk to your adults about your opinions and ideas on the impact of the media's messages on your life
• Do a letter-writing campaign to get your governor to declare an official Turn Beauty Inside Out Day in your state
• Host a girls' summit, rally, or other special event to raise awareness of inner beauty!

The Girls, Women + Media Project also offers some great tips on Media Activism 101--what you can do to make your voice heard:

• Check out their links of great blogs and webpages where you can learn more about lots of cool media projects, like Geena Davis' See Jane, New Moon Expert Advisory Board member Audrey Brashich's All Made Up blog, and the About-Face ad project. Then tell your friends and family members about what you've learned!
• Read (and submit your writing to) New Moon (shameless self-promotion, I know)
• Tell the media what you think -- you can find an email address on most companies' websites, or you can write to the editors of TV stations, newspapers, magazines and radio stations -- be sure to explain why you love or hate what they've done clearly and respectfully!
• Try a media "diet": For a few days, avoid (if you can!) TV, magazines, movies, videogames, non-essential websites and email. Avert your eyes, if you can, from advertising signage. Get one or more friends, or a class, to do it with you so you can talk about it. Discuss how hard or easy your "fast" was, what you missed or didn’t miss, and why, and if you notice a change in attitude towards yourself, others…anything.
• Drop us a line at blog@newmoon.org and tell us how YOU celebrate inner beauty and make your voice heard!

Dove Campaigns for "Real Beauty"

Hi, girls! This is Natalia Thompson here, New Moon's newest editorial intern. You might recognize my name from some blogging I did last winter (you can read my posts on sweatshop labor and women's health worldwide in our older posts). I'll be managing posts on New Moon® News for the next month, so stay tuned for lots of exciting news and discussion!

For today, check out 13-year-old Madeline's comments on "real beauty":

"There are so many ads today that can make young girls feel bad about themselves. There are next to none that help us ALL feel beautiful. However, Dove's recent commercials for hair and skin products are celebating age, size, and self-love. Check out their website at http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com. I think it's great to see SOMEONE step up to the plate and take action in making the world of advertising more viewer-friendly."

Madeline is referring to Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty, which is advertising their products (including their 'firming lotion,' i.e. cellulite cream--ironic, no?) by featuring models of all sizes, as seen on the billboard at left. Madeline added:

"Also, I walked into Cold Stone Creamery and noticed that the models on the posters on the wall were plus-sized. I've always hated seeing super-skinny people advertise foods. It didn't make much sense. Anyway, I thought New Moon readers would appreciate what the advertising world was doing good for us."

Thanks, Madeline! Girls, you can click here to view Dove's "Evolution Film" on how we perceive beauty ("How did our idea of beauty become so distorted?" Dove asks).

Then tell us: Have you seen Dove's ads? What do you think of them? Does it bother you that they promote different kinds of beauty while selling a product that is supposed to help girls and women erase their physical "flaws" (cellulite)? Got any other ads you celebrate (or hate)?

New Moon Meets with Local Advertising Executives!

Wednesday night, New Moonies and area girls met with local advertising executives to celebrate Turn Beauty Inside Out Day. Executives from H.T. Klatzky & Associates(HTK) and Art Direction and Advertising (pictured at left) took time out of their evening to speak to girls about the business of advertising. Marsha Hystead Senior Vice President and Senior Creative Director from HTK gave an awesome keynote speech and was an inspiration! The thing that inspired me the most were her “Rules to Live By” and I wanted to share them with you.

The most important person in your life is you.
Realize now that you can either be your biggest fan or your worst enemy. If you believe, inside, that you are the coolest person in the world, that will come across to others.

You deserve to be happy. But it’s your responsibility to share your happiness.
You do deserve to be happy. Everyone does. And, you have to do your best to make others happy around you. Let others know they’re cool, too. You will be amazed how that happiness comes back to you.

Live your life as if no one is looking.
This is really important. And it’s really hard. Don’t worry what others think of you. Be yourself. Funny. Serious. Smart. Crazy. Kind. Caring. Whoever you are, be that person first. It will be infectious.

Everyone is beautiful when we see with our hearts instead of our eyes.
It is so important to open your heart to people who may be different. To accept people for who they are and how they look. Where they live. What they wear. If you don’t want to be judged, don’t judge others. Everyone has a story. Be open to hearing it.

Masquerading as a normal person is exhausting!
What is normal anyway? This statement says be you and don’t be afraid to show people who really are. Anyway, it’s much more interesting to be different.

Each night ask yourself: Did I make someone’s life better today?
This is important. Noticing someone who needs a friend, or a listening ear, or just someone to walk home with‑and offering to help‑may just make their day a little better. It can be a small thing, it may take only take a second, but it just may change their life. I guarantee it will change yours.

“I ain’t much, baby, but I’m all I’ve got!”
Learn this now. You’ve been given many talents and gifts. Learn to appreciate them. When you do, they will become evident to others. Trust me. This stuff is true!

You are the most amazing person alive.
If you believe that, you will be successful in everything you do.

After Marsha spoke, the girls got a chance to ask the panelists thought provoking questions and we were able to get a glimpse into the advertising world. We learned a lot! Then, the audience was able to break into small groups to work with the executives one-on-one to analyze ads from commonly read magazines. Each small group shared with the larger group at the end of the night and we had a lively discussion!
Some comments that were made about the advertisements were:
“That’s too showy”
“I wouldn’t buy this product because I don’t even know what it is!”
“She doesn’t look real”


Russ Stover, President of the Duluth City Council proclaimed May 16, 2007 TBIO day in Duluth!! We are so honored that the City of Duluth recognizes all the hard work and dedication our staff (both girls and adults) put into bringing girls’ voices to the world!

I hope you had a wonderful TBIO day! We certainly did!

Happy Turn Beauty Inside Out Day!

Turn Beauty Inside Out Day (TBIO) is a grassroots celebration of media images that promote healthy behavior for girls and boys. We invite you to celebrate inner beauty--the beauty of conviction, caring and action. We need a definition of beauty that focuses on who we are and what we do, not how we look.

This year TBIO is focusing on the portrayal of women and girls in advertising. The New Moon family will be celebrating TBIO Day by meeting with local advertising executives to discuss the images of women and girls in advertising. So, how will you celebrate TBIO day? Visit the TBIO website for ideas!

Check back tomorrow for pictures from the event being held tonight! And tell us how YOU celebrated TBIO with your friends, family and community.

Violence is not Beautiful

Did you watch America's Next Top Model on Wednesday? Although I didn't watch it myself, I've heard a lot about it since it aired. The last episode of America's Next Top Model encouraged aspiring models to pose as "crime victims" -- women who had been murdered, who had overdosed on drugs, even one woman who'd had her organs removed. You can see the images, and the judge's commentary, here. But be warned: this is NOT beautiful, and you should get an adult's permission before you view the images.

These images send the message that being the victim of a crime is glamorous. But anyone who has suffered violence, or who has seen someone she loves suffer violence, knows that there is nothing sexy about it. It's devastating and it destroys lives. Over 1400 girls and women die as victims of violent assaults every year. This number should outrage us -- we should be asking, "Why does our society allow this to happen?" Studies show that kids exposed to violence in the media are MORE likely to commit violence against others and LESS likely to be sympathetic to REAL LIFE survivors of violence. Girls and women who suffer violence do not need a culture that is insensitive to their pain, and America's Next Top Model had no right to turn this nightmare into a fantasy.

If you're as angry as I am about this, PLEASE consider taking one of the following actions.

1. Contact the CW Network, the network that produces and airs America's Top Model

By email: feedback@CWTV.com

By snail mail:
The CW Network
Attn: President of Entertainment
4000 Warner Blvd.,
Burbank, CA 91522

By phone: 818-977-6878

2. Contact Tyra Banks, creator of America's Next Top Model:

Online: http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/contact.html
Email: tyrabanks@studiofanmail.com

Snail Mail:
Tyra Banks
c/o Studio Fan Mail
1122 S. Robertson Blvd #15
Los Angeles, CA 90035

Our friends at Domestic Violence Discussion have created a sample letter that can help you get started.

Sample letter (Feel free to personalize):

I am very disappointed with the episode of America's Next Top Model, which aired on Wednesday March 21, 2007.

The images of battered dead women are not only misogynistic but incredibly horrific. In a world that struggles daily with violence towards women, you exhibited the extremely poor judgment in glamorizing it. Have you ever seen a victim of a violent crime? Being a victim is definitely not as glamorous as was portrayed on America's Next Top Model.

I am outraged at how violence against women was trivialized. I think it is a deplorable way to get ratings. I will not watch your show and am encouraging my friends and family to do the same.

Sincerely,
[Your name]

Our friends at Teen Voices are also speaking up about this. Let's show the media that glamorizing violence against women is NOT OK.

Contest: Create Your Own Ad

As part of the Turn Beauty Inside Out campaign, Mind on the Media is holding a Create Your Own Ad contest:

"We're so tired of ads that fall back on narrow, worn-out stereotypes of 'beauty'—that depend on unreal models and lots of makeup, photo retouching and special lighting. Why don't ads show the beauty of being a real person who cares about more than plastic perfection? We think advertisers can do better, and we want you to help us show them how!"

Mind on the Media invites all students age 11-16 to create your own original ads that celebrate Inner Beauty. Inner Beauty is the beauty of action, the beauty of being true to yourself, the beauty of making the world a better place, the beauty of being a good friend, the beauty of standing up for your beliefs and righting wrongs.

First prize is FREE registration to attend the 2007 Turn Beauty Inside Out Girls Leadership Retreat June 27-30, 2007, in Manhattan, NY (value of $380).

Ads must meet these specifications:
TV – A 15, 30 or 60-second public service announcement. Must be submitted on ½ inch VHS tape.
Radio – A 5, 15, or 30-second public service message. Must be submitted on audio cassette tape.
Print – An 8-1/2” X 11” black and white or color message. Original must be submitted. Keep a good copy for yourself.
Web – A banner ad must be a gif file that is 465 x 84 pixels. Or, create a full web page. Submit banner ads by emailing the gif. Submit a web page by emailing the url.

All entries must include the name, age, full mailing address, phone number w/area code, and email address of the creator(s). All contest entries are assumed for publication and become the property of Mind on the Media. All entries must be postmarked by April 1, 2007.

Web entries can be emailed to tbio@mindonthemedia.org. Video, radio, and print entries should be mailed to:

Mind on the Media Ad Contest
710 St. Olaf Avenue Ste. 200
Northfield, MN 55057 USA

Questions? Email tbio@mindonthemedia.org or call 952-210-1625.

What exactly is ugly about Betty?!?

This week, I asked readers of New Moon's e-newsletter to share their reactions to the hit TV show, "Ugly Betty." New Moonies love America Ferrera, the star of the show, who spoke as part of a "Being a Girl in Hollywood" panel at the Turn Beauty Inside Out Girls' Leadership Retreat in 2005. When America recently picked up a Golden Globe for best actress in a comedy, she said,

"It's such an honor to play a role that I hear from young girls on a daily basis how it makes them feel worthy and lovable and that they have more to offer the world than they thought."

"Ugly Betty" seems to be resonating with many girls and women. What do YOU think about the show's message? And what about that title? Check out what a few of our friends had to say, then share YOUR opinion by leaving a comment or writing to blog@newmoon.org.

"I think it is wonderful how there is a show about a girl who is not perfect and beautiful, but a powerful woman. She is a wonderful actress despite the fact that she is not movie-star thin. It sends a wonderful message and I think this show should go on for a long time." –Emily, 10, Pittsburgh

"Whereas I understand the show, 'Ugly Betty,' turns out to be a positive production for girls, the title just seems offensive to me." –Caren, Massachusetts

"It seems to me that this show actually is reinforcing some arbitrary (Media-driven) notion of an ideal beauty! I guess the message of the show is that a person has value, even if she is ugly? But I still can't figure out what, exactly, is ugly about Betty! Is it because she has glasses and braces? Is she really considered overweight? Maybe it’s the brown curly hair? I think she is actually pretty attractive. I’ll admit that I've only watched the whole show a couple of times, and I can appreciate the intention. Still, I think the concept is ill-conceived and off-target. On another note, I think it's a shame that the content (due to adult themes, etc.) is inappropriate for pre-teens. My daughter is 12, and I don't encourage her to watch. " –Heidi, New Hampshire

"Personally, I am bummed that the title of the show is 'Ugly Betty.' I don't find Betty ugly at all! She is hard-working, kind, generous, warm and funny. I can see where it might be igniting conversation among girls and women, and hopefully among boys and men, too, which is extremely necessary. All good things start with valuable conversation. But there is so much focus on the body that it worries me for our youth. What about Betty's beautiful mind? Are girls able to separate all of this?" –Pam Erickson, Maine (Pam is executive director of Coastal Studies for Girls.)

"I LOVE Ugly Betty! At first I didn't know what to think about the title until I watched the show and really got the message. It's great! We need more shows like this and more actresses who are not the anorexic norm. We want REAL women!" –Rudy Ann Gunneson-Poling, California

Collage of YOU

Do you ever have those days when you just can't put a finger on how you are feeling? Not really sad, but not quite happy, not scared, but have a strange feeling in your tummy? Or just so happy and excited, but you're not sure why? Here's an idea that may help you to sort some of those feelings and discover something new about yourself:

Make a Collage of YOU. Get old magazines, articles, (anything you can cut out that has pictures and words), a large piece of poster board, glue or tape. Look through the magazines, focus on pictures, single words or phrases, or even colors that have some meaning to you - happy, sad, zany, funny, serious, adventurous - whatever strikes you. Do the same with the pictures, put them in a random order all over the poster board. Make drawings if you love to draw, write your own poem if you love to write. Whatever expresses your feelings and thoughts - who you are. Post this on the back of your door and when you're having one of those days - sit and look at the many things that make up the special person you are AND BE PROUD!!